As the Garnetts celebrate Christmas Alf berates Rita and Mike for only giving him 'Whiffs' as opposed to real cigars and second-rate socks whilst they have bought Else a dress and accuses his atheist son of hypocrisy. Rita cannot recall his gift of a doll's house when she was little - though that was because Alf fell downstairs and broke it whilst he was drunk. When the carollers call Alf is ready for then with a vase of dirty water but has to drink it when he sees the vicar heading the singers.
It's Christmas Eve and Alf still has no present for Else. The black man selling cheap British watches looks like being a life saver but maybe Alf should have held back on the racist insults before buying. On Christmas Day Alf propounds his view that Jesus was English, which the others dispute. However, a meeting in the pub with the cast of 'Jesus Christ Superstar' seems to support Alf's theory.
Elsi is still away and Alf has been charged to look after the Christmas club subscriptions at the local pub. However maths is not his strong point and he has trouble balancing the books. This in turn leads to the regulars suspecting that, instead of intending to pay them out, he is keeping the cash to join his wife in Oz and an argument breaks out, though he is almost importuned by a gay man.
